An Unmarried Widow

I knew, to some extent, if not at all, this day would come. I would get polished beautifully, in extensive wedding  wearings, feminine and appropriate, opera length gloves with sleeveless gowns, laughing and making fun with close friends for the last time before getting into the arms of my prince, my dream of life with a satirical smile to show a silly pride, as part of my tradition, hiding my face, glancing towards him for a moment and next.  

But these all were assumptions, imaginations, pictures, not reality, not what I waited and yearned for so long, not what I deserved, not what I extremely wished for; it was all desaustrous, destructive, damaging and finishing, devastating, and betraying.  

It was the time when I realised that I have no control over my life, not possessed myself, not allowed to choose my future, not respected to do what I wish; it was the time for me to cry, to shout, to beg, to deny but in vain. There was the rule of the strong, the rule of the male, the rule of the honourables, the rule of the tyrant cruels: it was the rule of the people who felt proud for their girls got raped. It is the place where Islam rules, it is the land where a baby girl is expected to grow up and act as an adult overnight and expected her life and desire  revolve around males because they are superior. 

I was excited, madden and picturing myself in another world. People were singing, dancing, enjoying, drinking, eating; all was good but what was hurtful that my friends; the rose petals with their unknow future, were not aware of what was going on, what condition were I passing through, it was amazing to see how happy they were, how excited they were. I was recalling what he looked like, those eyes dark and penetrating were in front of me, but the image was getting invisible suddenly. I was helpless in my own mold, my friends were celebrating the success of enemies and at the same time their own defeat, noticing nothing at all that they were handing over their unfortunate friend, an unmarried widow; were thinking confidently me in loving hands in fact where hell for me awaited.